youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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