gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
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Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
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Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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