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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better

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• (817): View more from Texas

  just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.

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• (805): View more from California

  I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...

  (480): View more from Arizona

  When is the party?

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