words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
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