U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
