My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
