ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
