Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
