so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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