If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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