Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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