She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
we're so committed to being not committed
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
