I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Dear god my vagina.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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