She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
