so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
