He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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