Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He shit in the fireplace
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
