I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
