I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize