So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I believe in your delicious
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
