you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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