She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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