dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
