I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
