the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
