Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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