Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
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The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
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Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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