I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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