I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
