he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
