Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
