I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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