There is no way he is gay with that hair.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
