I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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