what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
