Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
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I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
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I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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