i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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