Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize