so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
