Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
