i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
