This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
