ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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