I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
