JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
