He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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