he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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