I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
