found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
