she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
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don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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