question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
