Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
