Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
