so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
