I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize