a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
there is another microwave in the elevator.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
