sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
