But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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