my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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