It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
