Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet

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(573): View more from Missouri

just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.

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(509): View more from Washington

Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.

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(450): View more from Quebec

I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life

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(620): View more from Kansas

we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.

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(406): View more from Montana

i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?

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(347): View more from New York

Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?

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