Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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