that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
