addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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