Pappa wants mamma naked
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
high people should be assigned attendants
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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