do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
