shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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