I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
