let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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